I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
accomplished twins. life is a go
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
