HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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