I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
