Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
