She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am available for nakedness
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
