what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
