YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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