We won't sleep together?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
