I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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