Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
