where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
