i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
