I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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