break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
