Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Everyone says I win the strip club
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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