i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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