he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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