was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
