Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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