Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
