is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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