so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
