No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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