so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
