Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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