the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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