Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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