Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
