Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
