oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
