I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
