Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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