He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
