I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
