summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
