you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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