is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
