I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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