i can't believe i had my finger in that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
