Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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