Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We need to get me chipped asap
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
