Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
