fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
porn star boner night. come get it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
