I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
