@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
