He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
