Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
