Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
