I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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