If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
