just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
